“Mommy, hello please? Hello please?” the little girl repeated plaintively as she tugged on her mother’s skirt as mom obliviously tapped on her cell phone, distracted by its notifications and apps.
The invention of our hand held devices is a very mixed blessing! On the one hand, we have the virtual world and relationships at our fingertips. Somebody can Like you on Facebook, Follow you in Insta or Send you a Snap!! The adrenaline hit that brings is addictive and draws us in. We feel connected, excited and we can become distracted for hours. Dr. Townsend calls this “pixelating” in his article on developing digital boundaries.
On the other hand, the real world and the relationships in front of us pass us by.
The idea of Be Here Now seems so elementary, but look around you. Is anyone in your line of vision enjoying the present moment-the coffee in their hand, the smile on the face of the clerk, the breeze that ruffles their hair? Or are they absorbed in the otherness of their phone?
Are you?
As we constantly look to “the next thing,” we miss relating to what IS. As a therapist, I am constantly challenged to wake people up out of cyber-life distraction and into the challenge and joys of this moment. I have to remind them, that sitting there with me, we are safe. We are fed. We are warm.
But maybe your present moment isn’t so great. Maybe escaping into your phone seems irresistible in the face of that divorce, that unbearable boss, or that medical diagnosis.
Using avoidance only compounds the current problem. The decisions, the insight needed to make changes are lost when problems are avoided by escaping into cyber world.
Distraction kills creativity. “I have a few minutes until my next meeting, I’ll just kill some time on my phone.” There used to be a time where those moments allowed us free time to take in our surroundings, to let our mind wonder, to sit in the quiet. Think of all of the hours of creative thinking that is lost when we stare into our phones to just “kill some time”.
If this describes you, call me. I can help you face what you’re escaping with all that distraction. Finding solutions or at least facing the pain of the issues is the way to experience the life in front of you with freedom and peace. Don’t waste a minute of your existence!
“Living in the moment, living my life
Easy and breezy, peace in my mind-
Peace in my heart, peace in my soul
Wherever I’m going, I’m already home.”
Living in the Moment by Jason Mraz
